Myra - Dear you, parents ...

It was a crowded wedding party ever. I saw the guests were all alike. They had an extreme sharp of nose, yes Arabian. I had to go miles miles long to attend this wedding party. Well it was worth doing for I saw an extraordinary wedding party. It was not only because the guests who make us feel like were really in the Middle East, or the delicious food with a strong-tasting substance, but also because the groom and the bride that were a hybrid; a mixture of two things. I was wondering what efforts the Sundanese man did to get this Arabian woman. It must be the hardest efforts ever. Based on my experience (having Arabian boyfriend) the woman would definitely lose her clan, not have support from her big family, even worst be cast away from her family.

I heard then that the man had to pay about 50 million rupiah to be able marrying this woman. Well I saw the woman, he did a right decision considering a beautiful child he would have from a wife like her. Anyway I then was thinking, if this Arabian rule in not marrying different tribe could be easily solved by money what is so important in this rule then? What makes Arabian build this kind of (I’m sorry) stupid rule? Let me guess … they may be afraid their heredity will be ruined. The grandmother will be ashamed of not having sharp nose grandchildren? But is it that shallow? Or maybe they are worried by the extinction of their tribes if their youth does the crossed-marriage. Or considering their strong faith in Islamic rule, is it because there is a verse in Koran telling Arabian must be with Arabian because they are a very good tribe in this universe for our Prophet is also Arabian? But I’ve never found this verse, what I found is that God creates human from many different cultures to make them known each other. So what is it about? Well let me relate it to basic human need; sex. Is it because Arabian has more desires than other tribes? That’s why the Arabian is afraid if this crossed-marriage happens, the non-Arabian can’t handle? Gosh it becomes senseless.


Let me share with these parents what’s the effect of this rule for their lovely children. Your lovely children grow in this plural world. They may play, study, and finally find the one they like. Since they are a minor group in Indonesia, the person they like may not always be Arabian. Unfortunately they know it is forbidden for them. They then find a way to solve this problem. They try to forget the person and they try this ‘love-match’ that are so common in Arabian family. But maybe ‘love-match’ will never be exciting for something that has been arranged will cause a different temptation for them. They will feel like they don’t have authority to choose and there are no exciting processes of chase, do efforts, and get. Or maybe they are too bored finding the same picture of this sharp nose people, they want to get away from this monotonous figure. Thus, they think that it is a challenge for them in experiencing a new fresh thing in their life; they decide to maintain this forbidden relationship. This relationship goes well before then the family smells something is going wrong. Then they are then provoked and advised to be only with Arabian. They then given up, some considering that they sacrificed for the happiness of their parents, some may be afraid of so many unpleasant stories of people who ignore this rule, some think parents will only want the best for their children. Then they end this relationship. This person will be confused, for he/she has been deeply in love with them. She/he may depress, some are looking for another chance with another Arabian (which of course a threat for Arabian), some may continue their life. They then agree to marry Arabian which actually has been arranged before. They then survive with their marriage but they are not happy. Some may keep their marriage but never feel the excitement, their marriage become dull. Some may have an affair, worse in many cases the affair is the non Arabian they have ever loved. It’s the case for them who agree to marry, there are also the rest who decide not to marry. They will be single whole their life, and you will really regret it considering grandson you desirable want. So … you have perfectly made your children’s life into awry.

Can I ask an honest question? Have you parents ever been in love? If yes, isn’t it beautiful? What makes you don’t want your children feel the same? Or if you haven’t, why don’t you let them to have this opportunity, something you’ve never tasted? I guess every parent will only want the happiness of his/her children, let them happy with their choice then. If they can’t choice their own love, what other beautiful thing that are able for them to choose then?

-Myra Fathira-