Myra - Dear you, parents ...

It was a crowded wedding party ever. I saw the guests were all alike. They had an extreme sharp of nose, yes Arabian. I had to go miles miles long to attend this wedding party. Well it was worth doing for I saw an extraordinary wedding party. It was not only because the guests who make us feel like were really in the Middle East, or the delicious food with a strong-tasting substance, but also because the groom and the bride that were a hybrid; a mixture of two things. I was wondering what efforts the Sundanese man did to get this Arabian woman. It must be the hardest efforts ever. Based on my experience (having Arabian boyfriend) the woman would definitely lose her clan, not have support from her big family, even worst be cast away from her family.

I heard then that the man had to pay about 50 million rupiah to be able marrying this woman. Well I saw the woman, he did a right decision considering a beautiful child he would have from a wife like her. Anyway I then was thinking, if this Arabian rule in not marrying different tribe could be easily solved by money what is so important in this rule then? What makes Arabian build this kind of (I’m sorry) stupid rule? Let me guess … they may be afraid their heredity will be ruined. The grandmother will be ashamed of not having sharp nose grandchildren? But is it that shallow? Or maybe they are worried by the extinction of their tribes if their youth does the crossed-marriage. Or considering their strong faith in Islamic rule, is it because there is a verse in Koran telling Arabian must be with Arabian because they are a very good tribe in this universe for our Prophet is also Arabian? But I’ve never found this verse, what I found is that God creates human from many different cultures to make them known each other. So what is it about? Well let me relate it to basic human need; sex. Is it because Arabian has more desires than other tribes? That’s why the Arabian is afraid if this crossed-marriage happens, the non-Arabian can’t handle? Gosh it becomes senseless.


Let me share with these parents what’s the effect of this rule for their lovely children. Your lovely children grow in this plural world. They may play, study, and finally find the one they like. Since they are a minor group in Indonesia, the person they like may not always be Arabian. Unfortunately they know it is forbidden for them. They then find a way to solve this problem. They try to forget the person and they try this ‘love-match’ that are so common in Arabian family. But maybe ‘love-match’ will never be exciting for something that has been arranged will cause a different temptation for them. They will feel like they don’t have authority to choose and there are no exciting processes of chase, do efforts, and get. Or maybe they are too bored finding the same picture of this sharp nose people, they want to get away from this monotonous figure. Thus, they think that it is a challenge for them in experiencing a new fresh thing in their life; they decide to maintain this forbidden relationship. This relationship goes well before then the family smells something is going wrong. Then they are then provoked and advised to be only with Arabian. They then given up, some considering that they sacrificed for the happiness of their parents, some may be afraid of so many unpleasant stories of people who ignore this rule, some think parents will only want the best for their children. Then they end this relationship. This person will be confused, for he/she has been deeply in love with them. She/he may depress, some are looking for another chance with another Arabian (which of course a threat for Arabian), some may continue their life. They then agree to marry Arabian which actually has been arranged before. They then survive with their marriage but they are not happy. Some may keep their marriage but never feel the excitement, their marriage become dull. Some may have an affair, worse in many cases the affair is the non Arabian they have ever loved. It’s the case for them who agree to marry, there are also the rest who decide not to marry. They will be single whole their life, and you will really regret it considering grandson you desirable want. So … you have perfectly made your children’s life into awry.

Can I ask an honest question? Have you parents ever been in love? If yes, isn’t it beautiful? What makes you don’t want your children feel the same? Or if you haven’t, why don’t you let them to have this opportunity, something you’ve never tasted? I guess every parent will only want the happiness of his/her children, let them happy with their choice then. If they can’t choice their own love, what other beautiful thing that are able for them to choose then?

-Myra Fathira-

Myra - THANK YOU FOR (NOT) SMOKING

When I was in Senior High, I became groupies. Of course I was involved to a circle where I was bounded with some friends by the same likes. Unfortunately we didn’t only share our likes to a certain band, but also all things that made us feel like really connected to each other. Of course to show up that we were really groupies, we then did what we thought groupies did. We smoked and sometimes drank. That was the first time I tasted alcohol and cigars. The first time I tasted it (more often cigars than alcohol) I coughed a lot. I still did it only because I wanted to be regarded as part of them. Sometimes I was not comfort in doing it, but I adored one of our friends (in the same group) and I felt like she was really cool every time she smoked. Malboro red, that was her cigar. She was about 16 year old at that time. Then every where I went, I felt like prouder if Malboro was inside my bag. Though I could never really puff it.

I have twin sister and she smokes. She’s been smoking since in Senior High. I remember when we and our cousins were gathering, they were all smoking but me. I didn’t smoke because I knew they would laugh on me. They thought I couldn’t smoke. I couldn’t puff it well. One day they were all hanging out, and I was forbidden to come along with them. It was because they were all smoking and I wasn’t. They felt I couldn’t share the same enjoyment with them. I hated it, then I never really have a close relationship with them (until now). They would have vision that I was an angle that spied on them. They were all annoyed and thought that I watched their sinful behavior.

Indeed I never like smoking. Even my best friend was more comfortable in going out with my twin than me. She may think that they could share the cigars together. Even when I went out with them to Club night (I often do this, and fortunately like it) I was the only one who didn’t drink and smoke. Some people thought it was silly and began to ask me … ‘So what’s the point of being there then?’ I would answer it, ‘To dance!’

The reasons I wasn’t that into smoking are first of course because I couldn’t puff it well, I also always have painful throat ever morning I wake up, and anyway I was a runner … smoking will only undermine the quality of my running. The only reason of why I don’t drink is because it is certainly forbidden in my religion. So, when all of people in the club night would smoke and drink after dance … I would dance dance and only dance there, well sometimes had a chat with a strange man that I was interested in.

The truth that I didn’t smoke drove me also to be more selective in choosing a man I wanted to be with. I then had a relationship with a man who’s not a smoker. It was good of course because I didn’t like the smell of a smoker. I felt like they bring this smell everywhere even when they are not smoking. I was happy enough to be with this non-smoking guy.

When I worked, almost all my friends are smokers. They are given the accessibility to smoke inside our office, though the air conditioner is running. Every one smoked but I was not influenced. Then my jobs became more and more heavy. I worked under pressure anyway. Then I met my old best friend who used to smoke with my twin. She was working too. Every time she was depressed, she would take cigar. Sometimes when it was too hard for me to handle, I then took this best friend cigar. It increased day by day. People in my office still believe that I don’t smoke, though I do. Then I began to have my own cigar.

Day by day it became worse. Especially when I had a conflict with my father. I was bold to smoke in front of him. I called it rebel. My father had quit a long time ago, but seeing me smoking he then smokes again. Actually, it was me who often forbade him to smoke. He believed that I was his very good daughter among his daughters until I smoked. Well … I was so sorry for that, but I am still human who could fall sometimes. Now I smoke, even a lot. I became addicted for I know now how to puff it. Maybe smoking is my way to survive from the inhospitable condition. I begin to wonder what is it on smoking that makes me feel like more relaxed. Is it because the inhaling process? We puff it in and out that is the same as the way we breathe? We take a deep breath anyway when we are depressed, and then we feel better. Or is it because of the certain substance that is functioned to make us feel relaxed? Well whatever it is I see that most smokers smoke when they find something unpleasant in their life. Maybe they want to shorten their life by smoking, knowing that life is not that beautiful. My best friend told me, she would quit when she had found her happiness. I will also quit someday when I feel like not that stressful, that’s why I won’t run for cigars.

Smoking … maybe some people hate it, and some really need it. I’ve been in both of them. To be frank I like myself who’s not smoking better. Well but maybe I also need partner to face this not really nice life, and cigars have become my good partner. To reduce the amount of people who smoke I guess we have to make this life more beautiful. Believe me, ‘no for smoking’ campaign won’t really work. People still smoke though Doctor has showed them their lungs roentgen. Well anyway smoking and not smoking are choices. Well, I guess they are old enough (I said old because cigars only allowed for people not less than 18 year old) to know the consequences of what they are taking. Well but I really appreciate those who are not smoking in front of people who don’t smoke. By the way government has been kindly enough in making the certain place to smoke available. In appreciating this generosity, I guess those who smoke can be polite enough not to smoke in public (especially public transportation). Last but not least, thank for not smoking in public area … I, myself thank for cigars that has been accompanying me through this not really nice life.

–Myra Fathira-

Myra - DEATHLY VALENTINE

All are in pink, it must be an obvious view in Valentine’s day. Well, this Valentine might be different. I was so sure that I would have so many rivals when I went outside (For your information I always wear pink all day not only in Valentine’s day), until then I found no one in the same color as me. I didn’t even see someone who wore cloth close to pink. Black … that’s the only color I saw. Actually I was glad knowing I wouldn’t find my twins (by the color), but then I was eager to know who are they?

This people may not celebrate Valentine’s day, I am so sure they are even forbidden to celebrate it. So … what were they celebrating? They were all gathering, with dress code (black) in a very large convention room. I was invited by a friend to come to this event. I thought it was just like a religious event where we would be given a sermon then we would pray together or even read the Koran. But as this event went, I didn’t find those things I used to have. What I saw along the event was mostly a crying of this people. I have never seen a great number of people who was crying like that. They cried like they were in a very deep grief. I was in contrast with them, it’s not only because I was the only one who dressed in pink and the only one who didn’t wear veil but also because it was only me who didn’t cry.

My friend told me that they were all crying for Imam Hussein, he is the grandson of Prophet Muhammad who’s been killed by the Muawiyah emperor. He was killed because he didn’t agree with the way this emperor ruled. Ok I knew it then, but I still couldn’t understand why they were crying for those who had passed for a million years? My friend said that they follow Al-Hadist; whoever Love Muhammad they also have to love His Family and this Imam Hussein is one of them. That’s why they have to praise Imam Hussein and also have to remember his death. But is it by crying the way we love Prophet’s Muhammad’s family? I guess it’s more likely the incapability to accept. I mean when you love someone, you will set him/ her free won’t you? Beside if they are really Moslem, Islam teaches us not to love someone more than our love to Allah. Certainly what I saw contradicts with our role as a Moslem. Actually his death was a tragic one. He was killed and his head was cut off. The emperor then carried his head around Karbala, one of the hot deserts in the Middle East. Is it because of that they are all wearing black? Because they are mournful all their life? If they really believe, like all Moslems believe, that everything will return to Allah then why they are all sad? Also if they believe in Islam that everything happen with Allah’s will (it is called ‘Ridha’) why they have to cry like that as if they don’t accept Allah’s will? If that unfortunate tragedy really causes a great pain for them, then why they have to again reveal it every years by holding this event? Doesn’t it only bring more and more pain? Why they don’t just let it and face their own life which I am sure have a lot of tragedies within too? This is life, many things may happen; suffers, accidents, problems, and another unfortunate things. When we have to face one of those things in life, I guess nothing could we do but accept it! Yes, things happen and our role is to accept. There is much unpleasant news that worries us. We must have heard about children who suffered from illness and they died because they are too poor to see the Doctor. There are also many stories about catastrophe; flood, tsunami, drain, etc. Well do the victims cry a whole their life? No! They have to survive, life goes on. They won’t wait those who are trapped in their sadness!

I was surprised that a little girl beside me cried or more likely screamed with tears and she called this Imam Hussein. I also saw a boy, who is better play with his playmates than attend this kind of occasion, hitting his chest seem to regret the death of this Imam Hussein. Then I was wondering, do they really know what they are crying for? What lesson their patents give to them until they seem to really have a strong faith and tender to this Imam? They are very cute, it’s too early for them to cry for someone. It’s more acceptable if they are crying for candies! Gosh, what’s wrong with them? Indeed they are all lovely creatures, the men mostly are handsome and so are the women. I even saw a princely guy on the stage. But then I think twice considering his crying and hitting his body. He must have loved Imam Hussein more than a woman.

Mostly they are Arabian, though about 30 % of them are Indonesian. Arabian? That must be the answer of their too much praise to this Imam Hussein. Maybe they really have a family tree that connects them to Prophet Muhammad! But how about the rest Indonesian who were crying too? But hey … we all are connected to each other from our great father Adam and our ancient mother Eve!

I thought there wouldn’t be another mournful. They wouldn’t have more energy to produce another tear. But again I was surprised by a very loud scream when a flag was suddenly carried. I knew that it is Imam Hussein’s flag. They all desirably wanted to touch this flag. I heard again they cried … the painful crying I’ve ever heard. Some even collapsed after calling Imam Hussein loudly. Flag, it was a lifeless creature and they seem to praise it well too. What is this? Back to our ancient history where people pray to stone and all lifeless creature? I’m sorry but it’s a regression.

I was too tired. I hoped it would finish soon. It was almost 6 pm. I even hadn’t pray Ashar. Did they pray Ashar? Because I attended this occasion before Ashar. Did they more concern of this occasion than prayed? We then are all asked to head to Kiblat. I thought we would finally pray. Again I was wrong, they were all announced their wishes to be able in doing the pilgrimage to Hussein’s tomb. They even would do some efforts to make his tomb looked beautiful. They made a beautiful calligraphy for his tomb. I am so sure it costs a great amount of money. In my opinion, they should spend money for those who are alive. Imam Hussein has passed away. He may need nothing now but prayer. He has nothing to do with this life, he has rested in peace I guess. Why don’t we concern to those who are still alive; you and I who still have to face many things in life (perhaps the unfortunate one), and the living people who need more our help. Those who died has been released from suffers. They have found their peace. We may cry because we are jealous not because we regret his death, besides we all acknowledge that we will die too so why were we crying? Well anyway, I thank my friend for introducing me with this, my first black valentine.

–Myra Fathira, 19.02.2009-

Ane - Pernahkah kamu merasa?

Pernahkah kamu merasa cinta benar-benar ada,
saat pertama melihat dia?
Pernahkah kamu merasa tak dianggap olehnya,
dan menjadi marah karenanya?
Pernahkah kamu merasa harus berjuang
untuk membuatnya jatuh cinta?
Pernahkah kamu merasa memiliki dunia
saat berhasil mendapatkannya?

Pernahkah kamu merasa hanya menginginkannya,
meski cinta lain berdatangan?
Pernahkah kamu merasa tergoda,
tapi akhirnya malah kembali padanya?
Pernahkah kamu merasa berusaha memberikan semua
agar segalanya dapat berjalan?

Pernahkah kamu merasa lelah dengan banyaknya pertengkaran,
tapi dapat bertahan di dalamnya?
Pernahkah kamu merasa membencinya,
tapi selalu dapat memaafkannya?

Pernahkah kamu merasa telah melakukan semua
untuk menutupi kekurangan yang ada?
Pernahkah kamu merasa yakin dapat mengatasi semua
dan menjadi tegar bersamanya?
Pernahkah kamu merasa tak ada lagi penghalang
dan menjaga semua tak berubah?

Pernahkah kamu merasa dialah harapan, kebahagiaan, dan masa depan...?

Pernahkah kamu merasa dia pun merasakan yang sama...?

PERNAHKAH KAMU MERASA SEMUA TELAH SEMPURNA,
TAPI HILANG DALAM SEKEJAP...?

Aku pernah...

Pernahkah kamu merasa?

Myra - Back to your heart ... My Heaven's light ....

I can really feel the existence of Relativity when you are around ...
I need no Heaven when I nestle in your loving clasp ...
You are even the Heaven itself ...
I even forget what pain is ...
Ease and Excite blend together in your presence ...
Though then you unfasten your clasp ...
I know that you will always return ...
Here to my heart ...
Where our missing pieces meet ...
Unite into absolute part ...
Where you and I are wrapped into a big bubble where the time comes to a halt ...
Wherever I go, I know you are my way back home ...

-Myra Fathira-